Thanks kor...

Recently, I have reduced the time I used to chat in msn as I seldom get to online in msn messenger. Since the friends who used to chat much with me are now seldom wanting to do so.

Sometimes although they are online, but when I send messages to them, they seems like busy to reply. Or they do reply but only with few words / a very short sentence or do not reply at all after few messages I sent to them.
If those not-so-close net friends do so, it's still okay lar, since they don' t really know me very well yet. But in this case, those are my closer friends who know me quite well, and who were once my good listeners.. sigh. I wanted to share my things and get some opinions from them, but... they were not paying attention to what I said, and gave me very very simple reply such as OIC. so maybe they thought I was talking crap...
I felt like they were just trying to shoo me away...
If they were busy doing work at that moment, yes, I shouldn't disturb them of course. However, they were not, as I know lar... maybe they were though.

By the way, I want to say thank you to my Danny kai kor, he did help me much, by counselling me.. haha
I was quite expecting 礼尚往来 (to pay respect in the same manner).
I'm always expecting any in return when I give out something to my friends. For example, I expect my friends to treat me the same as the way I treat them. When I give them presents, I expect to receive some from them too... aiyo.. this is a bad thought huh? I thought they can only show their concerns to me by this action... !
when you expect for more things, you will get more disappointments!

That's why, I'm always unhappy because I expect more from what I could get.
Danny advised me to never expect any in return when I'm willing to give out something without regrets. When we think like this, we will be happier for either there is any return or not as we won't get any disappointment..
Everyone is not the same, so everyone has different thoughts, so we can't really expect people to do what we think they should do..
haha... ya, I know I was doing wrong things... and am trying to change my thought now =p

so, I always think people around me don't care about me at all, and I'm getting lower and lower self-esteem... I think I'm a fool, I am not good enough, I'm not confident.. blah blah blah..
I was always in despair...
When I was in bad time that day, Danny assured me, and he let me be more confident to myself.. really thanks to him! I'm so touched for what he had said!
well, he's indeed suitable to be a counsellor I think, hehe... and he's my good kor ^^

*these few days, nothing good to write, hmm... because I'm having the same repeated life routine everyday~