I thought I'm good enough, but I'm wrong
recently... I could sense that... my relationships with my friends are no longer as good as last time's.
We seldom meet and sit and chat together now. Since, we are not studying in the same class, only Hoon and I are studying in the same class. We are studying in different streams too.
Maybe this is the gap between science and art class. Learn different things, then have less common topics to talk about.
We have less time to be together ... talk less, communicate less, misunderstanding keep adding without solving.....
and.. not only that, I found out that my friends dislike me now...
one of the major factor.. I know.. because of my attitude~!
I have many bad attitude indeed, I know it very long time ago.. but I didn't realise they affect much on my life....
boastful - a little bit
look down at other people - I think I always too overconfidence and think that I'm very clever... but in fact I'm not... and I always look down at other people... in fact I'm not really very good... I'm not even qualified to comment about them... !!! stupid me
narrow-minded / so called "small-gas" (in chinese)- sometimes.. not all the time... I've made some changes to this since last year, I think I can accept other's opinions now... although sometimes still the same... but gradually changing now~
like to show off - whenever there is a good news of mine, I sure like to tell other.. ah... but I didn't think/care of other people's feeling after listen to my words.
way of speaking - too straight forward, always didn't think before talking, easily hurt others~
hot tempered - my quick tempered, easily angry of others just because of some small matters
spread news / "sampat"/ 3 8 / busy body - ah.. this one is a super bad habit... I can't control myself but always tell other this and that news whichever I know, so... sometimes tell out friends' things... which they don't really want other to know... aiks... but if it's very very important secret, I surely won't tell [true for secret.. 100%] .. just in some case, I think it's not really a secret but just they don't like to let other to know.. ya.. it's true and alright, sometimes I also wish they don't spread out what they know about me... ah... it's my fault... very big mistake...
I just can't control.. I really like to tell out what I know... T_T... but trust me.. I'm not really purposely do this, it's just a habit... if I keep this habit down, I will be hate by all people in this world
these few 'super unwanted' attitude (still got more..)... I have them... I own them... my life will be spoiled by them... if I still don't want to change myself..... really irritating my friends, people around me....
yea... I should change from now onwards... I should.... !!! I shouldn't be busy body to get to know those unecessary things which are not related to me, I shouldn't talk too much, I should do what I should do only, I should talk what I am allowed to talk only, I must control myself, I should be not as talkative as last time....
trust me.. I will try to do it.. I will change to a better person, as long as I know what is my weakness,... gradually...
1 Comments:
didnt really read and digest all what you've written, i've been skimming tru everything lately, notes, newspapers, textbooks, etc. but generally i think i get what you're trying to say.
well, at least you know where you'd go wrong. u know your faults and flaws. friends? well, to me, friends are something that i keep missing. you'll start to realize how something meant so much to you untill you've lost that something. i did, for i thought i was grasping something so tightly and securely. i lost my grip, it slipped away, but i'm holding tightly now. how i wish i was wise enoungh to know that i'm not actually that wise enough.
not everyone sees life in a same way, i'm just bored and lazy to blog so i'd use this chance to ramble away. just know where and what your mistakes were, try to improve or whatever.
i'm starting to lose my aim in life. this form 6 life, life after form 6, whatever. i feel like im letting myself down. i am. i do. i did.
for a while everyone was filled with enthusiasum. fill with determination. now, for once, its blank again. i am.
i know i may never have close friens, the mutual we've become to each other, the more we're starting to hurt each other. i've never a real friend who i could talk to. i mean really talk to. but alas, i'm thankful for the friends i had now, a bunch of guys who's not like others. we've hanged out, joked around and all.
what now, i'm begining to sound and talk like others.
all the best.
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