sth nonsense ~ just my feeling
The minute before this, I was playing "minesweeper" ~
Recently, I like to play minesweeper & pinball, these two simple game (compared with RPG and online games). erm.. since long time I didn't play online games, now don't ever dare to try any as I scared I will be once again indulged in the virtual world ~
Today, don't know why, quite moody, at this moment, there are many STPM reference books, as thick as yellow pages waiting me to read... and some homework to do...
Not only today maybe, but recently ....
No mood to read forums, no mood to watch tv, no mood to watch movie, no mood to study, no mood to ~~ blah blah blah~~~~
haiz...
All people who communicate with me thought that I am that kind very strong (not physically, but mentally), happy, outrovert, positive thinking, etc girl ~ totally those kind ler...
however, actually sometimes I'm just pretending to be happy...
deep in my heart, I am not happy at all, I'm very weak actually... I'm not that strong...
Negative thinking, I used to be.
Positive thinking, gradually become, in the process ~ though many people already think I'm.
I used to think to commit suicide, countless times, at very long time ago, now.. erm.. didn't think of it already ~
ah... human is like this, sometimes will be moody like me now, sometimes will never think of those sad things, sometimes happy sometimes sad.
oh... however, I am feeling better now, after blah blah blah in this blog ^^
what a relief~!
this is the second way to express my feeling, to release my tension maybe ...
2 Comments:
everyone was an actor themselves, the life of yours was the stage, the shooting ground. the difference is that you dont have ppl shouting "cut" when you did something wrong, you dont have the script prepared for you, and you dont have the director there to direct you.
there's no editing nor redo/undo/replay after each scene.
sometimes i feel like im acting for too long now, too many roles to play, too many lines to come up with, too many things to endure, i dont even know the true, the real me anymore.
even when we're writing all these, saying all these, telling all the lies, covering ourselves.
just like a film run bad.
ups and downs is just part of our life.
Post a Comment
<< Home